Doubt is questioning. I say this in the context of not understanding and asking for clarification– unclear. This may also be skepticism of the primus of the object. Then there's not sure, which is undecided. Finally the overarching– just don’t know with far from capitulation, is inferring waiting and seeing more. This kind of doubt drives us. The old adage being: “Great Doubt-Great Faith.”
I begin with the moment, Inmo or right now. Here my context is what’s happening, what’s not happening, and what is being done about it. This can be disconcerting, making the past and future questionable. This is transformative doubt…” Am I a person dreaming I’m a butterfly or a butterfly dreaming I’m a person?” But the moment is so quick, to know all that is actionable is impossible. Dogen says: A moment is a very small particle of time. It is so small that one day is made of 6,400,099,980 moments. Or a moment occurs every .0000135 of a second, or proximity 74074 per second (my calculation). In comparison light travels approximately 186,000 miles per second. Calculating anything so quick and far numbs us. Wrapping our head around these numbers may not be possible.
To accept not knowing, can be to acknowledge the perceived known boundaries are deferred to as an approximation. To be satisfied with approximation is useful if this level of finiteness is an agreed upon resolution of the matter to the parties involved. This is used often but may require deeper measuring: purity of smelted gold for example- the old idea of biting a gold coin to judge its density or woodenness for nickels. This is an example of direct experience.
Doubt is a pause in time as in breathing or pondering. Doubt is functional in sorting and in certitude. Certitude is asking how sure you are which is offended used in scenario thinking- weighting the percentages. Certitude when not open to variation is grasping, holding onto or addiction. This is a yellow zone of possibilities wondering whether we have looked at all the options. Here again can we live with some doubt or must we strive for absolute certainty?
Since Zen teachings emphasize the impermanence of all phenomena. By deeply contemplating the transient nature of life, practitioners develop a sense of great doubt about the permanence and solidity of the self and the world. This doubt becomes a tool for awakening, as it reveals the illusory nature of fixed identities and attachments. This is embracing paradox as a means to cultivate great doubt.
Teachings and practices often present contradictory ideas, such as being and non-being or effort and non-effort. By engaging with these paradoxes, practitioners are forced to let go of dualistic thinking and enter a state of great doubt that transcends intellectual understanding. Koans are designed to foster great doubt by pushing practitioners beyond rational thought. In grappling with a koan, one encounters the limits of logical reasoning, leading to a state of doubt that breaks through conventional understanding.
Dogen uses Shikantaza as exploration of doub (underlining by me)t:
In one of his first essays, Bendowa, “Talk on Wholehearted Practice of the Way,” written in 1231 a few years after his return from training in China, Dogen describes this meditation as the samadhi of self-fulfillment (or enjoyment), and elaborates the inner meaning of this practice. Simply just sitting is expressed as concentration on the self in its most delightful wholeness, in total inclusive interconnection with all of phenomena. Dogen makes remarkably radical claims for this simple experience. “When one displays the buddha mudra with one’s whole body and mind, sitting upright in this samadhi for even a short time, everything in the entire dharma world becomes buddha mudra, and all space in the universe completely becomes enlightenment.”[13]
Proclaiming that when one just sits all of space itself becomes enlightenment is an inconceivable statement, deeply challenging our usual sense of the nature of reality, whether we take Dogen’s words literally or metaphorically. Dogen places this activity of just sitting far beyond our usual sense of personal self or agency. He goes on to say that, “Even if only one person sits for a short time, because this zazen is one with all existence and completely permeates all times, it performs everlasting buddha guidance” throughout space and time.[14]At least in Dogen’s faith in the spiritual or “theological” implications of the activity of just sitting, this is clearly a dynamically liberating practice, not mere blissful serenity.
Inquiry seems to be part of our practice where one brings a deep, questioning attitude to meditation, or an openness to such thoughts when they arrive. This involves asking fundamental questions like "Who am I?" or "What is this?" without seeking immediate answers. This process of inquiry nurtures great doubt, leading to profound insights and shifts in perception.
Through meditation and mindfulness practices, practitioners observe the ever-changing nature of their thoughts, emotions, and sensations, leading to great doubt about the existence of a permanent self. This doubt dismantles the ego and opens the path to experiencing one's true nature.
In Zen, the relationship between teacher and student is crucial. A Zen teacher often employs unconventional methods to instill great doubt in the student. These methods can include direct pointing, silence, or even physical actions to disrupt the student's habitual thinking patterns.
The Razorblade of Zen Taiun Roshi introduces Zen Buddhism and its unique meditation as a non mystical, plain and simple, physical approach to finding sanctuary and self-examination amid the hectic everyday life that people face. Many people still harbor misconceptions about Zen despite the mainstreaming of meditation and the dissemination of Zen publishing. This book clarifies the real Zen and defines its place in our culture as simply and directly as possible, placing the practice of Zen where it belongs in today’s cultural and ideological context: occupying the middle ground between extremes of rationalist science and theistic religion. From this perspective, living with Zen becomes possible without compromising the demands of living in the world today.
So, the role of great doubt does not have to be a negative or debilitating process but more a catalyst for awakening. Phrases such as: is that so, it depends, or just don’t know, are useful in leading one to a direct experience.
Through practices like koan study, shikantaza, and walking the Noble Eightfold path, This great doubt is cultivated. These in turn guide practitioners through and by way of their teachers, toward a deeper understanding of one’s true nature. I believe this unfolds faith or a sense of ease in one’s practice that indeed enables dropping away hindering aspects of body and mind.
This morning I spoke at a forum at the Church of the Messiah in Woods Hole, Massachutes, as a precursor to starting our fourth sitting group in our area there beginning November 12, 2024. One woman asked about how often I meditated and my response was…often. I have no idea where my comment came from. I went on to say that I experience a sense of ease frequently as I sit.
I offered how our sitting groups and our Sangha enables, if not faith, at least refuge, moment by moment, so my practice is simply my faith that is announced in the last stanza of the Bodhisattva Vow….” the Buddha Way is unsurpassable I vow to realize it.”
So, this vow becomes driven by experience of how I deal with doubt, I have faith in the process.
Join us at 7:00 PM/ET on Tuesday November 5, 2024 in person at The First Congregational Church in Falmouth https://www.falmouthsotozensangha.net/location
Or, on zoom https://zoom.us/j/7096899032?status=success#success password FSZS
Palms together,
Sensei
Unshin Sangaku Dan Joslyn-sensei
Founder and Guiding Teacher
Falmouth Soto Zen Sangha
404-702-7646
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